


Gloves

by raptor_moon



Category: Primeval
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-02
Updated: 2012-04-02
Packaged: 2017-11-02 22:40:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/374138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raptor_moon/pseuds/raptor_moon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story discovered when the gloves come off…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gloves

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Adult themes, flashback - sexual assault (male on male rape) of teenaged character, attempted suicide

“Mornin’ Abby.”

 

Abby looked at him blearily as she shuffled to the coffee.  It was another hot day and she was dressed in as little as she could and still be considered acceptably dressed for work and chasing the odd dinosaur.  She poured the coffee over a large glass of ice and looked at Connor.  Waistcoat over a T-shirt, trousers and his trademark gloves, his only nod to the weather was short sleeves and lighter weight fabric for the trousers. 

 

“Its 30oC, Connor…Gloves?”

 

“It’s just my style.” Connor replied, smiling as he dropped his hat on his head.

 

Abby grabbed her keys and they headed to the car.

 

-*-*-

 

The lights flickered momentarily.  A distant alarm blared in the ARC.  Lester strode out of his office to the railing.  “What the hell is going on now?”  He asked to no one in particular. 

 

Sarah went over to the computers and pulled up a system report. “There was an electrical surge in lab 103.  That’s where Connor is working.”

 

A second alarm sounded. “What has he gotten up to now?” Lester began to descend the ramp.

 

“That’s the smoke detector.”  Danny remarked looking over Sarah’s shoulder and then breaking into a jog toward the lab.

 

Lester and Danny arrived to find Becker wielding a fire extinguisher and Abby already in the room, kneeling next to Connor.

 

Connor sat on the floor, rocking back and forth cradling his hands.

 

“Mr. Temple, just what are you up to now…” Lester’s voice tapered off as he strode into the room and saw Connor’s hands.  His gloves were burned across the palms, the exposed flesh already red and blistering.  He hoped the bits of black ash were from the gloves and not evidence of a third degree burn.  “We need to get a medic…” Lester’s order was interrupted by Sarah entering with the medic in tow.

 

“I was working on one of the systems and got a feedback loop; the resulting power surge caused sparks and caught stuff on fire, Sorry.” Connor stammered.

 

The medic began to examine Connor, “So these are electrical burns.  Are you aware if you lost consciousness at any time?

 

“I don’t think so,” Connor looked confused. “I was just trying to…”

 

“Mr. Temple, you can explain what you were doing to the systems later. Mr. Quinn, help take Connor to Medical.”

 

“I’m coming too!” Abby looked up, eyes flashing.

 

“I already assumed you would be accompanying Mr. Temple.  Becker, assemble a clean-up detail to determine the extent of damage.  Dr. Page, are you familiar enough with these systems to check for damage as well?”

 

“I’m not sure,” Sarah stammered, “but I’ll try.”

 

“Very well everyone, back to work.” Lester strode off, grumbling to himself about another report to be generated to hide his concern.”

 

“Ok, Connor…let’s get going.”  Danny said as he and Abby helped Connor to his feet.

 

They departed to the sound of Becker barking orders.

 

-*-*-*-

 

The doctor looked young but spoke with great confidence “Since these burns were caused by an electrical short, it is critical we determine if there is hidden damage deeper in the tissue.  Nurse, set up an IV of Lactated Ringer’s solution and push 5 mg of morphine to start with another 5 on hand.”  He turned back to Connor, “We need to debride the burns, so I need to cut off what’s left of your gloves before I clean the wounds.” 

 

“No!” Connor spoke up suddenly in great distress.

 

“Connor,” Abby spoke quietly and calmly, “I know you don’t like needles, but you need this done.”

 

Danny smiled at Connor’s discomfort, but his smile faded as Connor spoke again, an edge of hysteria in his voice. 

 

“No, you can’t…I can’t take off my gloves.”

 

“Connor, they’re ruined. I’ll get you another pair.  I know you have several…”

 

“No, I’m fine.  It’s really not that bad.”

 

“Lack of pain is a sign of nerve and potential deep tissue damage, so it is critical that I take a look.”

 

“No its not that, it just…I don’t want you to…I can take care of it.”

 

“Connor, you aren’t thinking straight.” Abby pleaded.

 

“Do I have to hold you down?” Danny offered.  “Let the nurse start the IV.”

 

“You can start the IV, just don’t take off my gloves.”  Connor said stubbornly and then just stared at the floor.  He winced as the IV needle went in but remained silent.  As the morphine began to kick in, Connor shoulders sagged and he sighed.

 

The doctor pulled up a stool and got to work.  He began by cutting along the side of the glove opposite the thumb and then started to ease the gloves away from the wound.  As the glove dropped away from Connor’s wrists, Abby and Danny noticed diagonal scars across each wrist.  Abby gasped and Connor looked up, his eyes filled with sadness.  Danny thought he had seen scars like that before. Abby looked like she was about to speak, to ask Connor what had happened, then Connor hissed as the doctor attempted to remove a bit of glove that was stuck to the burned skin. 

 

“Come on, Abby, let’s give Connor some privacy and let the doctor work.  We’ll be back in a little while to check on you.” Danny took Abby’s arm and led her from the room.  Once they were outside, “I thought you and Conner were close.  I take it you didn’t know about those scars.”

 

Abby looked at Danny, “Let’s just say my relationship with Connor is stalled.  If I keep waiting for him to make the next move I shall be old and gray.  And no, I never knew he used the gloves to hide something like that, what could have happened…” She senses some discomfiture in his demeanor and stated, “I think you have an idea, don’t you?”

qw

“I’ve seen similar scars on suicide attempts.” Danny whispered, “but I would not have expected it of Connor.”  He looked expectantly at Abby.

 

“We’ve never really talked much about our lives before the anomalies. I know he was a student at University but…” Abby was shocked and angry at herself.  All this time and she had never known about the scars and never thought to ask.  She just thought the gloves were like his hat, as he said, just his style.

 

“Well, it’s obviously something he’s not to keen to talk about, so it will take some work to get him to open up.”

 

-*-*-

 

A few hours later the doctor declared Connor could go home to rest.  They had obviously taken into account Connor’s emotional state as the bandages covered not only his hands but also ran up to cover the scars on his wrists.  Danny helped Abby maneuver Connor into the flat.  Abby put the kettle on as Danny settled Connor on the couch.  Danny was startled when Connor suddenly spoke.

 

“You recognized the scars.” Connor stated it in a flat monotone, a statement, not a question.

 

“Well, yes…I’ve seen it a few times before in my former line of work.”  Danny knelt and looked Connor in the eye. “You don’t have to talk about it unless you want to, but Abby is going to worry…” Danny trailed off as Abby came into the room

 

Abby came in with two tea cups and a large plastic novelty mug with straw, “I know you can’t really hold a teacup right now…”

 

Connor cradled the cup in his arms and took a sip.  “Weird, but good….Thanks Abby!”

 

Connor took a deep breath.  He looked up into concerned eyes and knew, however painful, he had to tell the story.

 

-*-*-

 

“Well, you know that my dad died before I was a teenager.  Times were very tough for my mum then.  She met my step dad when I was just hitting my teenage years.  When they married, we moved.  I gained an older step brother Dylan in his first year at University, a younger step-sister, Brittany and a new school.”

 

“I didn’t know you had a step-family.  Your mum lives alone?”  Abby asked clearly confused.

 

“Well, the marriage didn’t last.  It was my fault.” A look of pain filled Connor’s eyes.

 

“The kids always think that, but…” Danny trailed off as Connor looked up and shook his head sadly.

 

That first summer was great.  But the school I went to in the fall was different, more affluent kids, more opportunities.  My step-dad wanted me to not just be a geek, go out for a sport, be a team player.  I went out for track, knowing from running away from bullies before that I could run fairly fast for short distances.  The coach got me doing hurdles and I was just good enough to make the team.  Everything was going well until…”  Connor seemed to choke back a sob and shivered.  He suddenly seemed very pale.

 

Abby jumped up and put an afghan around his shoulders then wandered over to her bag.

 

“You don’t have to do this now, mate, if you are not up to it.”  Danny placed a hand on Connor’s shoulder.

 

“I’d rather get this over, if I am ever going to build a relationship with Abby, I can’t have this secret between us.”  Connor stared at the floor and Danny realized there was more than just a suicide attempt hidden by the gloves.

 

Abby handed Connor two pills. “The doctor said the morphine would start wearing off about this time and to keep you well dosed for the first 24 hours. Do you want a sandwich or anything?”

 

Connor shook his head and then swallowed the pills.  He forced a smile up at Abby and motioned for her to sit down again.

 

“It was a few weeks into the school year.  I was walking home after school and came across some upperclassmen beating up another kid from my class.  The told me to just walk away, but I’d been the victim in that type of situation before.  I couldn’t.  I told them to quit.  They said they didn’t know I was one of them…”

 

“What happened?” Abby asked with concern, while Danny whispered, “one of them?”

 

“What do you think happened,” Connor laughed. “I got beaten up.  Ryan used to tell Cutter when he kept saying not to shoot the dinosaurs, ‘Ethically noble but tactically stupid!’  It wasn’t the first time.  Black eye bruises…no big deal.”

 

Danny and Abby exchanged a meaningful look, but said nothing.

 

“The boy withdrew from the school.  I think he reported the guys who did it.  Someone did.  Seems a couple of them were on the rugby team, as were some of the guys on the track team.  I guess they blamed me for turning them in. The coach waylaid me after practice, said some of the other players were worried about my ‘commitment to the team.’ Couple of the team leaders, kids whose parents were powerful in the community, caught up to me in the showers. A sucker punch to the gut got me bent over. One grabbed my hips to keep me from falling over. Then the other guy whispered ‘queer-lover’ in my ear.  He said…”

 

Abby noticed Connor shaking; he choked back a sob and whispered, “See how you like a real man.”

 

“Oh…” Abby had no idea what to say, but she wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly.

 

_Connor couldn’t speak anymore.  His mind was stuck back in the locker room.  Strong hands caught his hips.  The pressure of a something warm pressing against his anus, something cold and wet being squirted there and then heat and pain as someone forced his way inside.  It felt like he was tearing in two and he screamed in agony.  Someone laughed, “What a nice tight ass!”  Another voice snarled, “What a pretty mouth.” Orders whispered in his ear, “You’ll suck my cock and swallow my load, no biting or I’ll cut yours off!”  The feel of something cold, metallic against his penis and oh god he was hard, why did he have an erection.  Laughter again, “Knew he was a homo, he’s hard; he likes it.” A large penis was forced into his mouth, choking him.  His body was jerked roughly until they shifted position and found a rhythm.  Now as the one guy pushed roughly in he brushed against something inside and sparks exploded behind his eyes. How long the torture endured he did not know, but he felt warmth shoot up inside him and suddenly his mouth was full and he was swallowing madly to keep from choking.  His attackers went limp inside him and let go, and he collapsed in a heap on the floor.  His cock was still erect, throbbing and leaking pre-cum.  “Look at the sick fuck, he likes it rough,” a voice said and stroked his cock with the back of a straight razor.  Despite the fear that filled his gut, he found himself coming in thick ribbons. A voice whispered in his ear, “If you say anything to anybody, we’ll bring friends next time, Queer!” then a swift kick to the nuts caused pain to explode through his entire body and he mercifully passed out.  As the memory ran its course, he found himself panting for breath, sweat beading on his forehead and Abby’s arms still comfortingly around him._

 

Danny found himself slipping back into police mode.  “So you were sodomized, raped by those lads?”

 

Connor merely nodded.  The technical terms did not begin to portray the emotional toll, but they were somehow comforting, clinical and detached. 

 

“Did you report it to the authorities?”  Connor shook his head.

 

“Did you tell anyone?” Abby asked, concern filling her eyes.

 

“No, I couldn’t…”  Connor’s voice was barely a whisper. 

 

“I got home, threw up.  I couldn’t eat.  I showered until there was no hot water left.  I threw up again.  I couldn’t keep anything down.  Mom let me stay home sick the next two days.  All weekend I worried about school Monday.  Sunday afternoon I resolved to tell.”

 

“But you said you didn’t.  What stopped you?” Danny asked.

 

_What stopped him?  He remembered what happened next all too clearly.  He had finally worked up his resolve and went downstairs._

_“Mom, can we talk?”_

_“Sure honey, just let me check on the roast…” his mom was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell.  “Oh, dear.  That’s your step-dad’s boss and his son, they’re early for dinner.  Let’s go welcome them.”_

_With his mom’s hand on his shoulder they walked to his door.  His stepsister had already answered it and in the doorway stood one of his attackers.  The boy who had practically choked him with his penis, now stood calmly in the doorway as the boss’ son, a pleasant smile on his face as if nothing had ever happened.  Bile rose in Connor’s throat, “Excuse me!” he blurted, pushing past Brittany as he rushed from the room.  He barely made it to the bathroom before he lost his stomach contents again._

_Through the walls he heard his step-dad, “I’m sorry, Connor had food poisoning earlier in the week and I think he was too ambitious earlier today.”_

_“That’s a shame, I’m sure the boys would have had lots to talk about.” The voices faded as they moved to the dining room.  Connor crawled to his bedroom and locked the door._

 

“If I told it could have hurt my step-dad’s career, hurt the whole family…”

 

“So how long after the attack did you try to kill yourself?” Danny asked bluntly.

 

“Ten days.  I couldn’t face school again and I couldn’t stay out sick forever.  I forced myself back to school so mom wouldn’t worry about me.  I didn’t matter anymore.  The next weekend, my mom and step-sister left Friday for a trip out of town and my dad had to work, so I planned it for then.”

 

“Who saved you?” Abby pleaded.

 

“I hadn’t counted on my step-brother getting homesick at University and coming home for a surprise visit.  I always felt bad that he discovered me.” 

 

_Connor recalled the events of that day with sadness.  He had gotten home and drew a warm bath. The water was supposed to keep the blood from clotting.  He hadn’t heard his stepbrother come in the house over the running water.  He had climbed in the water fully clothed.  He didn’t like the idea of his step-dad finding his naked body.  He had sliced the wrist of his dominant hand first, then the other, trying for vertical cuts, but ending up somewhat diagonal.  He watched the blood swirl out and the water slowly become red.  He was getting sleepy and was just closing his eyes when a knock came on the door._

_“Connor, are you in there.  You’re taking forever.  I just drove 3 hours to be here and I really need to go.”_

_“Go away!”  Connor didn’t realize how much his voice was slurred.  “I’m busy.”_

_“Connor, have you been drinking?”_

_“No, I’m just taking a bath…a blood bath.” He giggled.  He didn’t realize he had said that last part aloud.  Next thing he knew, the door was kicked in and his stepbrother was staring._

_“Oh my Connor…what have you done? Stay there.”  He ran from the room and Connor heard him calling 999.  He returned in a few minutes with two tea towels.  He tied them around Connor’s wrists and then lifted Connor out of the tub._

_“Connor why? Do you hate it here this much?” His stepbrother pleaded as he wrapped Connor in a large fluffy towel._

_“Oh no, you’ve been great.  You’ve all been great.  It’s just…school.  I can’t go back…I won’t…I…” Connor struggled to with his conflicted thoughts, “Can’t a guy die in peace?”  Connor whispered, shivering as he lost consciousness.  Dylan was left trying to understand what about school could have driven Connor to such extremes while he waited for help to come._

 

_His stepbrother waited alone in the emergency room.   He didn’t have the hotel info for Connor’s mom and Brittany’s trip and his dad was in a meeting and “could not be disturbed.”  So he was the only one to hear the doctor’s report that there was evidence of sexual abuse, which they suspected was motivation for the suicide attempt.  Dylan breathed a sigh of relief when the doctor let him see Connor._

_As Dylan entered the room, Connor opened his eyes._

_“Connor, at school, that’s where…” Dylan paused, unsure of how to proceed. “You were sexually assaulted.”  Connor said nothing, but a single tear escaped his eyes and ran down his cheek.  “That’s why you tried to kill yourself.”  Connor nodded and turned away, ashamed._

_Dylan did not know what to say.  “I’ll talk to dad” he stated as he left the room._

_Dylan was old enough to know that his dad was a good man, but a little too focused on his career and reputation. It had helped make him successful and financially secure, but Dylan knew he would be embarrassed enough over what impression Connor’s suicide attempt would make in the community, if the sexual assault came out…._

“Then what happened?” Abby asked while rubbing Connor’s back. 

  

“Well, after a suicide attempt, psychiatric hospitalization was recommended where I could be watched and receive therapy until they were confident I would not try again.  By then, Dylan had convinced my mom that my step-dad’s intention to send me away for the rest of the school year really was for the best.  Mom was ready to move to a new location right away for my sake, I didn’t want her to leave my step-dad; I tried to convince her otherwise.  I at least convinced her to stay though the school year.  My step-sister Brittany deserved at least that little bit of stability. I know it was hard for my mom to let me go, but I couldn’t tell her what had happened, I never have.”  Connor’s voice broke.

 

_Dylan drove him to the small town that would be his new home.  Saying goodbye to his mom had been hard, but he just couldn’t face her sad eyes, always wanting to know what had broken her son.  But he couldn’t tell anyone the details, not even the psychiatrist.  He had finally admitted to the beating and the sexual assault and that fear of returning to school where the attack had occurred had driven him to suicide.  He had to do that to get out of that horrid hospital.  He wasn’t crazy; he just hadn’t seen any other options.  Being sent off to the middle of nowhere to stay with his step-dad’s sister had never been offered as an option.  Connor hadn’t even known she existed; she was evidently the black sheep of the family. Staying with Aunt Esther for a while was actually a blessing.  She was an outcast because she was a lesbian and had gay friends.  She accepted him into her home with welcome arms. More importantly, she introduced him to her friend, Tristan.  Tristan was gay, he was also a minister in the gay community and had unfortunately dealt with others who had been victims of assault.  He didn’t ask Connor to tell the details, but somehow he seemed to know._

_“Connor, your Aunt told me about the attack.” Tristan began.  Connor looked down, another person was going to try and get him to open up and tell the tale of the attack when all he wanted to do was forget._

_“You seem to be taking it remarkably well.” Connor looked up in surprise. “I know many men are confused by the physical effects and emotions dredged up by such an attack.”_

_“Ph..Phy..Physical effects?” Connor’s voice cracked._

_“Yes, your body was forced into a fight or flight response and you could not get away.  It is not unusual to get an erection in such situations.  Also when a man is penetrated, often the prostate is stimulated.  This direct stimulation could have caused an erection and ejaculation.  Many men are confused by their body’s reactions and think they somehow wanted or enjoyed the attack.” Tristan stated the facts that he knew Connor needed to hear and watched Connor’s eyes for a reaction.  The reaction was more dramatic than he anticipated as Connor’s eyes lit up and he visibly relaxed._

_To know it didn’t meant he secretly enjoy being raped and victimized, he wasn’t sick, and his reactions were normal, did more to help his mental state than anything else.  Connor felt as if a tremendous weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  Connor smiled for the first time since the attack._

_The winter months past and Connor became comfortable with his new life. When Aunt Esther noticed that he kept wearing gloves and long sleeves into the spring, she realized that it was to cover the scars, and she knit him his first pair of fingerless gloves._

“I stayed with step-dad’s sister Aunt Esther for the rest of the school year.  She made me my first pair of fingerless gloves.  That summer, my mom ended the marriage and moved into the London to find work.  She sent for me when she was settled and I moved into the city that fall.”

 

Connor ended his tale.  Danny could tell that he did not want to talk about it anymore.  Abby looked on questioningly and he feared she would press Connor for the details he had never told anyone.  He thought Connor had been through enough for one day.  He stood.  “Well, I should go and leave you to get some rest.” He made eye contact with Abby and she nodded.  At least Connor should be off the hook for tonight.  Abby walked Danny to the door.  “Abby, remember we have just dredged by memories that are over a decade old. Connor has moved on, he’s OK. Don’t push.”  Abby sighed.

 

“But to deal with so much, alone…” she glanced back towards Connor.

 

“Well, he’s not alone now.”  Danny smiled and left.

 

Abby returned to Connor’s side.  He seemed lost in dark thoughts.  “Come on, Connor.  It’s been a long day.  Let me help you get ready for bed.”  Abby helped Connor up the stairs.  The painkillers had made him unsteady on his feet.  With his hands in bandages it was difficult for Connor to do anything for himself.  Abby helped him get his shirt off.  When her hands reached his belt, she noticed his breathing quicken.  “Connor?”

 

“I’m ok, Abby.  It’s just difficult feeling this helpless…again.” He turned away in embarrassment. “And I want to apologize now. I may have nightmares tonight.  I…”

 

Connor stopped as Abby turned him to face her. “It will be okay, Connor. I’ll be right here if you need me.” She undid his jeans and they fell to the floor.  He swallowed nervously.

 

“Abby, I…I can’t…”

 

“I’ll just get my sleeping bag, so I can curl up on the floor next to your bed.”

 

“Oh…okay.”  He relaxed and crawled into bed.  Connor was asleep before Abby returned. The floor was uncomfortable, but she resolved she would not pressure Connor.  At least now she understood why Connor willingly accepted the glacial pace set by Caroline and why he had been so reticent in moving their relationship forward.  She smiled at him and pulled the covers under his chin, but this peaceful sleep lasted only a few hours before Connor was thrashing and mumbling in a sweat.

 

“Connor, Connor!” she called his name as he shook him gently.  He awoke with a start, shaking.  He wiped his eyes and whispered, “Sorry.”

 

“It’s ok, Connor.  Just go back to sleep.”

 

“You shouldn’t have to sleep on the floor, Abby, it’s a big bed.” He said shyly.

 

Abby crawled into bed beside him.  She cuddled against him and felt him tense, then let out a deep breath and relaxed into her arms.  “Don’t worry, Connor, you don’t have to deal with this alone anymore.” 

 

“Thanks Abby…for everything.”

 

“You’re welcome.  Now rest.  When you feel up to it, if you’d like we can go shopping for some more gloves.”

 

“I’d like that.” Connor said as he drifted off to sleep. “Maybe I can find some made with glow-in-the-dark yarn.”

 

“Goodnight Connor.” Abby said attempting to sound stern as she stifled a laugh.

 

“Goodnight Abby.”

 

 


End file.
